My life was a little chaotic for 2 days. And, frankly, I am happier it's done. The crazy ex bf (whom I still saw, he texted ALL THE TIME told me he loved me-weird.) went too crazy for me. I guess I liked someone being around but I did not like him. Among major (illegal things he did; stole from Wal-Mart to return it for gift cards (wtf?), drugs.) He also talked during movies -i hate that! And only ever wanted Thin Crust with Pepperoni on his pizza. He couldn't hold a job, much less find one. And when he did he couldn't care less. He had entirely too many tattoos - some of which were stupid! How many mother fucking skull tats do you need on your body? And who the fuck gets a "lucky horseshoe" on his HAND? Jesus, deliver me. What was I thinking? I'm trying to laugh about it, but it still stings a little as I'm typing this.
On July 3, he was pulled over and arrested for having 12 Lortabs within his possession. He called to tell me from jail. I was livid. I mean, wtf do you say to that? I texted him immediately after we hung up, "You completely realize whatever we had is now over." His response, "I know this and I'm sorry" I completely send 4-6 more texts about how much I hate him for his drug problems -blah blah. I mean, not something someone wants to hear, but you know. I'm not sugar coating, you're probably going to be a felony in a few month, so whats the point in sugar coating, ya know? Anyways, I always had to ream his friend who called me to, to stop calling/texting me blah blah.
On Monday, he gets out. He's in the 'alternative program' until September when his court date is. WTF KY, I'm fully thinking the court system has failed. He should be locked up, but what do i know. I txt to make sure he's ok, he is, we're very short with each other... The breaking point is he's letting his little crony buddy read and txt me from his phone. So they're starting to get alittle hostile (yet funny) an example of one of the last ones was, "You best keep my name out your mouth or i'll have you arrested for slander!" ..... (let that sink in on you..., here's my response) "LOL. Ok.. Um, I'm not sure anyone in this country has actually been arrested on Slander but this will be my last official txt, don't worry." The icing on the cake was, you know when stupid white trash knows they aren't winning a fight they just start name calling, "Fuck you. You have your nose in the air but you aren't all that. He's had better LOL. Go eat something."
Really? A fat joke? (PS -the guy txting me is SO a fatty!!) But, whatev. Well the fat joke was enough for me, I mean they start with the fat jokes, but what if the hostile texts never stopped? My mom knew the whole story - she was sitting next to me as I was laughing and texting angerly and agreed it was time to call T-mobile for a number change. So I did.
But today, my curiosity killed me and I had to know what loser ex bf was up to and I facebook stalked him, his status reads: "Finally found a girl who makes me happy. Going to hang out with my girl and her daughter at the park."
THAT. Right there, is what has hurt me yet again. The feeling that you will never be good enough, even for a pillhead, to make someone happy. (That and I've been cheated on multiple times by the douche.) Which... I had already removed him from my friends, so I know he was doing it, possibly hoping I would see... I immediately blocked him so I couldn't search him anymore with out jumping through some hoops to unblock him. Also, perhaps I should confess-I've totally been seeing Adam for ages while Crazy Mo Fo has been hanging around. So, I mean I could totally msg him and say I've been seeing/doing Adam since like January, but I'm taking the higher, less slutty road. Right? Crazy ass was just here in the same town as me and it was convenient, it wasn't anything other than that. Yet, I'm still alittle sad. I think it's because frankly - When did these boys (b/c they aren't men) start acting like they were in high school again? (AND HE'S 30 PEOPLE!!) I don't get it. I think that is what's puzzling me that most. Letting your friends name call from your cell (mostly b/c they can't afford their own...), you not telling them just to stop, the cheating, the drugs, can't hold a job. Where are the grown ups at??????
Adam is a grown up, and (don't tell anyone) I like the kid a lot. When I call and ask what he's doing and he says watching T.V. sitting on the couch - I never have to wonder if that's the truth. Because it just is. He doesn't need to constantly try to impress me. He's never cheated on me and when we talk about cheating, he thinks people who cheat on their spouses are disgusting. He laughs at my jokes, mainly b/c he's smart enough to get them. He eats Sushi. He has 2 cars and a great job. He doesn't have any body art, but thinks my little flower tat is pretty sexy. And, most importantly-he never talks during movies. Why am I upset again?
